Beth Moore spoke in Salt Lake City a few years back. The E-Center was full of women, eager, anticipating to hear from God’s Word. We sang along with some worship songs and prayed silently and for each other and then a weekend of spoken healing was gifted to each of us. I felt as though I’d gone on a long trip and regretted not bringing an extra suitcase to bring home all my treasures. There were so many big moments throughout that weekend. . I can’t even keep track of them all until I need them. What I’ve needed recently is this. . .
God’s love for me is immeasurable. It is as high as the heavens, as low as hell itself, as wide as the east is from the west. . without end.
This God, who gave Moses the exact measurements, materials list and instructions to build the tabernacle which would come to represent His Son. .
This God who spoke the exact measurements, materials list and instructions to Noah as he built the ark that carried his family to safety. . .
This God, so immersed in exact measurement. . . cannot even measure His love for me.
How do I? I measure it by a man who wakes up every 2 hours in the night to test my blood sugar because I’m unconscious and sleeping off the effects of chemo, earlier that day.
I measure it by a room full of people, watching me cry and panic as I slip off the scarf which hid the effects of chemo on my head. . .and then cheering when I sat before them in that moment. . .before taking time into my own hands and completing the job that chemo had just started.
I measure it by the co-worker who’d left for the day last Wednesday and then came back in because she wanted to make sure to hug me and wish me well as I faced chemo the next morning.
I measure it by the cards, emails, notes, tweets I receive every single day, lifting my spirits with thoughts of love, friendship and laughter.
I measure it by the Dr. poking around and saying she can’t measure the tumor because it’s started to crumble.
I measure it by seeing all 4 of our daughters, in the same room, hugging, laughing, sharing a story, a meal and hug.
I measure it by the unfathomable peace I feel each day as I greet a new day with no fear, no worries, only hope and joy and the willingness to battle.
I measure it in those quiet moments. . . in the stillness. . . when I am overcome with His presence and power and all I can say is. . Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come.
I don’t know why cancer has happened to me. I just live in a world where cells mutate and people get sick. I DO KNOW THIS, my God is big enough to turn this hopeless, painful situation into something that inspires, incites change, encourages another and just as He’s used all those people to love me. . . there’s someone, somewhere getting ready to face the fight of their lives. They need to know that I’ve made it through. . Go ahead God. . use me to love them too.