Well, it’s been a busy month! Since I last blogged, I’ve:
Started my seedlings for the garden
Made my own lip balm
Made my own green tea lotion recipe
Changed up the recipes I was using for cleaning, body wash, shampoo, etc.
Found a recipe I liked for homemade energy bars
Learned to make my own yogurt and incorporated that as a weekly event
Lost more weight! What?
Watched so many documentaries about food, nutrition, etc. . I feel like I could now start a lecture series
and finally, but certainly not least. . .STARTED BACK TO WORK.
I LOVE my job, my company, my team. We are building the best bank in the world and every single person believes it and lives it. However, my returning to work wasn’t so much about my “job” as it is a HUGE milestone in my health journey.
In June of last year, I finally had to admit that I am NOT WonderWoman. I simply could not continue working while undergoing my chemo treatments. I had worked up until the day before my 4th treatment, and after having said treatment, realized it was the perfect day to take my leave. When I went in for that 4th treatment I told the Dr. that I had just started my leave of absence and she was shocked that I had been working through those months. She said I was “crazy” and “one tough cookie.” But, again, it wasn’t about the job as much as it was about the milestone of the journey.
Whether you have diabetes, cancer, MS, arthritis. . .any debilitating disease, you fight as hard as you can to remain “normal.” You want to keep working, shopping, playing, visiting. You just can’t let this disease win. You may try to hide or be discreet when giving yourself an injection or testing. When you’re invited to a birthday party, you want to eat cake. When your friends want to hang out at the mall, you want to join them. When your kids (or grandkids) want to run at the park you want to join them. But sometimes. . .
The day I walked out of the bank, with my box in hand. . hugs given, kind words exchanged and tears shed. . .a little piece of me died. I felt like cancer had reared its ugly head, fought me 3 rounds and knocked-me down for the count. It. had. won. I pushed through each required phase of treatment with the promise that soon, I’d be able to return to work. DH giggled at my plans for returning to work so soon. He saw how weak I was, yet never took that gift away from me. He’d laugh and say, yeah, soon Honey. . you’ll get back there soon enough. My original timeline had me hoping to return by the end of 2011. But, things never go according to the medical timeline. One surgery turned into three surgeries. Infection pushed the entire timeline out 6 weeks. 6 weeks of radiation isn’t really 6 weeks. . it’s more like 8.
So, finally. . .
Yesterday, Tuesday the 20th of March 2012 I returned to work. Although it has been agreed that I should start slowly and only work 4 hours a day for awhile, I AM AT WORK. So what does this mean for this worn out, battle scarred, Amazon warrior? One year ago today, I found myself in a hospital radiology department with a 2 foot long needle protruding from my left breast. Yes, it was 1 year ago that I had that biopsy that changed my life forever. Friday the 23rd will be the 1 year anniversary of my diagnosis. 1 year ago, I didn’t know if I was going to live to reach today and yet, here I am, cancer-free and probably healthier than I’ve ever been. 1 year ago I thought my life was being taken from me. Today, as I sat at my desk, completing another banking regulation training session, I wept because I realized that I’d FINALLY got my life back!