This used to be the theme of my blog. At one point I took a moment, each day, to share something or someone for which I was grateful. Then, diabetes conversation came into the picture and it was easier to write about insulin, A1c test results, how great my Endo is. . . Next, breast cancer reared its ugly head and my focus, while still grateful, became more and more health based. So. . . I’m back. Although this post still has the breast cancer theme. . it will slowly disappear as we transfer this conversation to a caringbridge account.
Today I am grateful for GREAT news that helps put bad news into perspective.
Mom went from thinking she was planning for a double-mastectomy to taking a pill.
I went from thinking I was having a double-mastectomy, hystero-oopherectomy to one breast being removed. As I faced the first thought of chemo and even a lumptectomy I was filled with fear. . now, in light of my BRACAnalysis results, I’m ELATED!
I’m also grateful that those around me, help me celebrate as well as they help me grieve. As I told my friends at work the good news. . mayhem erupted! There was cheering, laughing, crying, hugging, happy-dancing; if you’d walked into the branch, you would’ve thought we’d all collectively won the lottery! (I have told you that Alterra Bank is the best bank in the world, with the best people on the planet, right?) Messages from other friends and family were quickly stacking up on facebook, and emails and instant messages pop, pop, popped into my phone’s inbox, so quickly, I wore my battery out!
I’m also so grateful for my God Who Sees Me. Just weeks ago, when I faced the possibility of a positive BRAC1 or 2, I wept, I sobbed, I blubbered. . Please God, Please do not let me see this visited on my children. I can handle ANYthing if you’ll just spare my children. And, while they still have the same chance as any other girl on the planet of finding breast cancer, it won’t be because of BRAC1 or 2; it won’t be a genetic mutation. I will never feel like it was my fault. (I know it’s not scientific, but it’s MY reality.)
I’m grateful for a husband who wept with me on the phone when I told him. He truly feels what I feel, hurts when I hurt, fears when I fear and celebrates when I celebrate. I love my DH more than I could ever put into words.
I’m grateful for:
warm spring days that cool down at night
cold sheets and warm blankets
boxed cake mix and frosting in a can
sweater sets with necklaces
drivers who know how to merge
fast food employees that give you diet when you ask for it
grocery store clerks who know where the “weird” cheese is kept
a magazine in the mail
a card from a loved one
new ink in the printer
Good night. . . and be grateful.