I’ve been a little dumb-struck since Wednesday. I’ve wanted to post to my blog, but just didn’t know which words to choose. So, here’s my first attempt to get it all out there.
On Wednesday morning, almost 48 hours to the minute, the Dr’s nurse called to let me know that he wanted to see me that afternoon. . “and please make sure your husband is with you.” (Thanks to PF for filling in!)
Well, to cut to the chase, dear reader. . I have Stage 2b Invasive Ductile Carcinoma. Yes, breast cancer that started in a duct and moved in to a lymph node, setting up quite a nice place for itself there. . expanding and adding on like any suburban homeowner. I sat through a very thorough explanation of what was happening in my body, what has happened throughout the history of breast cancer, where the new ideas and treatments are heading and what lies in store for me.
Tuesday-Breast MRI to make sure there are no spots hiding somewhere else
That same week-should receive results of whether this is hormone receptive, my mom’s biopsy results and I should be able to have a BRCA1 & BRCA2 in process by then. All of these results will determine how we move forward.
In the meantime, I’m strengthening my spirit and resolve. I’ve reached out to my Facebook friends for their favorite scripture verses. . the one they turn to when things look darkest. I’m going to build a Promise Book to keep with me. . a picture of each friend with their verse to remind of their support, encouragement and strength, when I need it most. I’ve got another DOC friend (MD) that will allow me to use a few of his GORGEOUS photos in my book. They are very peaceful, serene landscapes. . I often visit these places on his FB page. . just to dream for a minute and catch my breath.
I plan to continue sharing my story. . not for pity or anything like that. I just know that somewhere out there, there’s someone else on this journey wondering if anyone else understands. . yep, there are a whole bunch of us out here sharing to let you know we do. Not everyone is as fortunate as me to have the support and network I have. I’m willing to share.
Last, but certainly not least. . I’m not moving on to next month, next year, the next decade. . and worrying about what MIGHT be. As worded, artfully, by my friend Sarahndipity I’m going to stop waiting for the end of the roller coaster, and start enjoying the ride! (And PLEASE click on her name and read the post. . one of her best EVER!)
Having cancer that will be treated in the coming months, does not take away my ability to enjoy the new daffodils that have popped up in my yard; the smell of rain; the taste of chocolate; the feeling of a big hug; hearing “I love you” and enjoying the tickle in my tummy when my DH says my name. It makes each of those things that much sweeter because I now see them with my ever-grateful heart.
Thank you all for all the messages, comments and LOVEliness!