Isn’t it strange to look back at the timing of events, thoughts, conversations and see how things fit together? Little did I know, when I posted to my blog last week, circumstances would arise to give me opportunity to practice what I preached.
Just breathe. . .
I once attended some group counseling sessions and was taught about our inner “Dragon.” After much soul-searching and introspection, I learned my Dragon’s name:
The theory of our dragon’s life is that, most of the time we’re all fine, rational, emotionally- tamed adults. But, there are certain situations in life that will nudge our dragon from her sleep. She’ll wake up slowly and just move around the cage a little. . .bumping in the night and stepping on things. Then suddenly, something will be said or perceived and our dragon will bust right through that cage door, nostrils blazing and smelling of brimstone!
What in the world is she talking about??!! What does this have to do with that other post about breathing the name of God??!!
Well, last week, some things were perceived to be a threat to my dragon and all weekend long, she was bellowing in my head. She would wake me up at night with all sorts of “what ifs” and “what now?”. . .and last night as we went to bed, I cried and shared my concerns with my sweet husband and found that I was NOT breathing the name of God as I so want to do. I was breathing the name of MY DRAGON!
How many times did I say, in just one conversation: “I don’t want to be a disappointment” or “I try so hard, are they disappointed in me?” Not once did I speak the one name that can calm the beast inside me.
My Yaweh, my Deliverer, Jehovah El-Roi, my God Who Sees Me, forgive me for speaking another’s name in my distress. Your name is the only one that will bring peace, shelter, safety, trust and security. I will speak YOUR name only, no matter WHAT comes my way each day.
YHWH. . .breathing in, YHWH breathing out.